As a self-proclaimed "Profile Sniffer" in Second Life, I am likely to look at
one's profile before I send an instant message or determine how I want to reply when they have messaged me. I consider the profile to be the area of first impression and telling regarding the person behind the avatar and their inclinations. My next place to look is at one's Profile Picks ("picks"). If the front of the profile is the window to the person behind the avatar then the picks are the furniture you see inside the window. Can you see that worn couch by the cardboard box?
Picks, found on a tab of one's Second Life profile, are usually dedicated to a place or a person. The place is either a sim or a business. When a pick is a place they are either the person's own business (which can be extremely helpful when you're trying to find a certain item that you want to buy), some place at which they work or that they like. Sometimes picks are there because of a contest for putting a place of business in one's picks. The types of businesses or places that are in picks are illustrative of what kind of person is behind the avatar. Usually the more "Free Sex" kind of picks the person has, the less likely they are the kind of person who I want to know. For the longest time, I didn't even know how to use "Picks" in Second Life and was actually ridiculed for it. I didn't care to know much like how I spent much of the first six months of my SL existence wearing a pair of boardshorts and no shoes. Once I found out how to place picks and had put a few in, there soon would come an endless amount of griping as to why either someone was or was not in my picks or why they were higher in my picks than someone else. These were picks listing a person or "personal picks." This whining even forced me at some point to put an exclamation point in the name of one of my picks so it rose higher in the ranks. This salved the concerns of my partner at the time. Eventually even before that partnership dissolved (soon to be the subect of a future post), I had eliminated my picks.
I would soon come to see personal picks as falling into one of several categories, each paying some type of homage to one or another person in a written blurb accompanied by a picture. There are personal picks, done by sane and articulate people, listing their families, friends and significant others. I am not writing about those kind of personal picks. The categories of picks found below are universal among a certain recognizable crowd of avatars (the names are made up and don't correspond to an actual avatar and contain actual probable misspellings) who generally travel through SL full of angst sometimes insisting that they are "no drama" but somehow attracting it. They usually appear as follows.
- Love of one's Second Life - name will usually contain flowers and all manner of ASCII characters like so ♚ `*•.¸☆´¯`♡ GRISWOLD♡´¯`☆¸.•*¨♚, Met 1/20/09, Collared 1/21/09, Engaged 2/3/09, Married 2/10/09 Gris your the most amazing guy ever and the love of my life and a shining light b4 u it was really really dark. I'm so lucky to have you in my SL, we will be together forever. You're my leage and ma love and no bitch better try to fuck with that. I love you Pooh Bear!
- SL Relative or Friend - name can contain the same kind of character gibberish or might be in a special font like so ⓀⓇⒺⓏⓉⒺⒺⓃⒶ, Krez is the funnest person I met in my life, she make me laugh. Remember when u told that slut at Laguna where to go!!!!!!! I dunno ware I'd be without my number 1 gurl we have been threw so much together and I know she's always got my back. If you try to phuck with Krez she will show where to go too!!!!!
- Group of Friends - Same type of characters with a title for said group (this could be a family group insead of friends. It would look like so ❃❂❃❂❃❂HOT ASS BISHES❂❃❂❃❂❃, Kreez, Lewizuh and Me breaking it down at Boogie Beach. U2 are the funnest girls a friend can have. These are mah bishes and nobody stands in our way. You better not mess with them or there will be hell to pay.
- Other Lesser Friend or Relative - usually is lower in the hierarchy but still somehow merits a listing in the picks like so ☀❊ ❉ ✲BIGRICK69✲❉❊☀, Rick is the sweetest brother a girl could have. You were the big brother my Mom and Dad never let me have, you taught me so much in sl and I don't know where I'd be without you and your fun. Thanks for being here for me threw it.
- Yet Another Lesser Friend or Relative - this person could be missing or have left SL but still deserves a never ending homage like so ·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· MAXAMILLIANA`·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.·, Maxi you were the first person I ever met in SL. We tried on hairs together and worked at TAC togetha. I miss you am waiting for my Maxi to come back!!!!!!
- Defunct Business or former lover - this could be a place at which the person worked or tried to start because as with many new folks in SL they of course know better than those who are established and will make a killing fast. It might look like so THE AMAZIN' CLUB, this was the most kickass club ever in SL. It was like no other and I miss it so much. It will always be part of my soul. Love you TAC!!!!!!! If a former lover the posting might be a bit vague so as not to raise the suspicion of the love of second life and it might look like so ·´)› KINGRUFUS ‹(`· Roof you new me when I 1st got on SL and I learned alot from u. taught me alot on SL and I will never forget all of our times together.
Fast forward two months. There has been a tectonic shift like the ones seen recently in the Pacific in this avi's life. If you open up the profile you will find that said avi's picks will look remarkably different!
- Love of one's Second Life - the replacement love will be listed here with perhap similar characters as the last like so ♚ `*•.¸☆´¯`♡ FREEBYRD♡´¯`☆¸.•*¨♚, When you met me I was down on the ground, till I met you I didn't know how to live in SL. Urr the best thing to ever happen to me and I will <3>
- SL Relative or Friend - the replacement best friend's name might contain the same kind of special font as the previous best friend like so ⓈⒽⒺⒺⓏⓃⒾⓉ, Sheez is the funniest person I ever met in SL. We will always have each others backs. Theirs never a dull moment with Sheez and I don't know what I can do without her.
- Group of Friends - With the falling out with the former best friend the other friend might end up going away so the new group might look a little like so.❃❂❃❂❃❂$ISTER$ 4 EVER❂❃❂❃❂❃, Me and my gurls, Sheez and Twinka kickin' it at Frank's. Aren't they the hottest bishes u have ever seen? You guys can say hi but don't mess with them or there will be hell to pay!!!!!
The progression of insanity continues down the line with certain tributes remaining while others are wiped away in an Orwellian rewriting of recent SL history. What endures through all the revisions are the threats made to all readers. We are told to not "mess with" someone or to otherwise not interfere in this ironclad relationship lest we face dire consequences. As if someone would want to interfere with the domestic tranquility of and be themselves involves with such luminaries! What is never explained in these pick threats is just how this punishment will be meted out. Will you send me a nasty instant message? Will you turn on some bling in my presence? Maybe you'll turn on a particle wand? Will you blast me with
a sperm gun? All of SL is quaking in our collective boots awaiting our comeuppance as punishment for our perceived interference or "messing." One wonders if the threateners actually believe that they can somehow affect the rest of us. If only they could hurt us as much as they make us laugh then their threats would not just consist of empty pixels.
