First there was the one where the groom didn't show up at all. Then there was the one where everything seemed to be done on the fly including the procession down the aisle. In that same disaster one of the "bridesmaids," who was on voice, decided that she was hungry and proceeded to chew her cud with total disregard for others. I got to experience the "Pastor" who sounded like a 13 year old reading off a script. I expected at any moment that we'd hear a loud noise and his mother would crash in telling him to get off of the computer. Unmercifully, however, this did not occur. The next wedding was populated by several individuals, all on voice, who like they had just walked off of the set of a revival of the television show Hee Haw and had been eating lead paint chips all their lives; "Howdy!" All I could think of was the movie "Deliverance" as I clutched the pew and warily eyed the room. Fortunately there were no banjos accompanying the vows. Needless to say I wasn't terribly excited about going to yet another SL wedding but I figured I'd do a favor for my friend and have fun.
The wedding itself went without incident as did most of the date and I had fun. I wanted to see my date again and we added one another. I hadn't heard from my date for a while nor seen her online but talked to my friend who told me that her sister was 9 months pregnant and about to give birth and maybe I wanted to be there to support her. "Nine months pregnant, I wondered?" The next time I saw her online I began the following chat
Dumbass Preggo: so ya upto much
Mikalis Karas: exploring, vampiring..:)
Dumbass Preggo: cool :P
Mikalis Karas: how about you?
Mikalis Karas: other than babying
Dumbass Preggo: just down at one of the clubs a work at dancin
Dumbass Preggo: havent had ma baby yet lol
Mikalis Karas: you are going through a prenancy and all that happy horseshit?
Dumbass Preggo: its ma last day lol
Mikalis Karas: oh yeah
Mikalis Karas: you definitely looked 9 months preggo
Mikalis Karas: pffft
Dumbass Preggo: lol i take it off
Mikalis Karas: if only one could do that irl
Dumbass Preggo: yeh lol
Mikalis Karas: that is why i have no respect for that here
Mikalis Karas: and don't care if anyone finds me offensive regarding it
Dumbass Preggo: its ok ya not the only one
Mikalis Karas: to me it's complete waste of fucking time
Mikalis Karas: when you get bored, you'll just put the "baby" in inventory
Dumbass Preggo: yeh prob but still
Mikalis Karas: pointless
Mikalis Karas: could have given it up along with having been partnered
Mikalis Karas: why bother
Mikalis Karas: your lifelong dream to play a single mom online?
Mikalis Karas: lmao
Dumbass Preggo: no
Dumbass Preggo: maybe i shouldnt have sed n e thign
Dumbass Preggo: *thing
Mikalis Karas: well good luck
Mikalis Karas: tc
Dumbass Preggo is offline.
The above conversation sums up pretty much my feelings about those pixellated flesh nuggets in SL known as prim babies. I have never understood the impulse to want to be pregnant in SL and paying money to all the silly businesses built around pixellated procreation from pregnancy tests to fertlity clinics to the fat suit add ons. "Oh you don't understand Mik, they want to experience what it is like to be pregnant," I've been told. While I may not myself personally know what it is like to be pregnant, and barring some sort of medical miracle or intervention of God never will, I do have learned enough about pregnancy to know that playing in SL is nothing like the real thing. If one in SL really wants to experience what it is like to pregnant, they should have to go through the following:
- Avi will be prone to bouts of nausea and vomiting as virtual morning sickness takes hold.
- Avi will be gravity challenged and mobility challenged and in a state of lag, this can be done by changing the physics of the avi's interaction with sl.
- Pregnancy "suit" will not be removable until a period of time until either the pixellated flesh nugget is born or somehow miscarried (that would add realism to the scenario) through a randomness that is exacerbated by the avi's activities (preggo strippers and crack hoes may be more prone to such complications).
- Cost of birthing must be borne by the avi. This could prove a detriment to the SL economy as the preggos will have to chose between birth and that new pair of Moody's.
- Once born, the "child" will not be able to be placed into inventory until such time as it either reaches an accelerated age of 18 (perhaps three years) or is taken away by Child Protective Services. For this entire period of time, the "parents" will be required to nourish and otherwise interact with the "child" at least once every three hours they are on SL.
I don't expect any of my reforms to be adopted so we are probably stuck with these troll like creatures (some think their own are cute) and all the related industries that have sprung up surrounding their acquisition and proliferation. The only bigger scam in SL are the "Adoption Agencies" where adults playing children are placed into homes for a fee only to invariably flake over a short period of time only to be placed again into another's home. It's probably easier money than having a legitimate business in SL.
The dreaded pixellated flesh nuggets are here to stay as their air-headed proponents traipse around gleefully annoying the most sensible of us on sl. We the sensible will soldier on, taking every opportunity that presents itself to use our MystiTool to impersonate the talking pregnant stomachs with such phrases as "Help me, call Child Protective Services, she smokes and drinks" or "I am the Spawn of Satan!" If you are a former "parent" of a pixellated flesh nugget, I invite you take the time to pull it out of your inventory, if not deleted, and if is transfer send it to me in world. I will serve a new and more useful purpose as a doorstop or landfill and thus not take up valued space which could be filled by yet another new hair or other shopping conquest. Seems as long as there is money to be made from dumb people, pixellated flesh nuggets will exist in SL.
